WHO’S YOUR DADDY?® is a social network exclusively for non-custodial and single fathers but where all fathers are welcome. Our focus and objective is the pursuit of fatherhood. This means that we search for and explore ways that will help us as men become better fathers to our children and in our community. We believe that as father we must not become satisfied in being good fathers, but that we should earnestly seek to become better father; until we become the best at what we do. As the saying goes “Good, better, best; never let it rest until your good gets better and your better becomes your best”. Here we also believe that there is no such thing as a perfect father, but we affirm that being involved with our children and in our communities; is the most perfect thing that we as fathers can do. As fathers we must seek the fundamentals qualities of fatherhood. The fundamental qualities of a Father are love and understanding, being the protector, being supportive, sets guidelines, they are teachers, good provider, they set moral guide, they are role model and they’re patient. Fathers also live the way they would want their children to live. A father is also a good listener and remembers what it's like to be a child and honors his children's feelings. These qualities are universal that cannot and should not be compromise. They are qualities that do not change because of religious, social, political, racial or economical persuasion. They have been the same since the beginning of man to this very present time. The same qualities it takes to be a good Christian father are the same qualities it takes to be a good Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist yes even an agnostic father. Rich fathers are held to the same standards of qualities as poor fathers are.

WHO’S YOUR DADDY?® is the site where a diversity of father come together for the common goal of fatherhood; it is where our diversities make us one. This site does not discriminate against any fathers; we except fathers of any religious affiliation, racial and ethnic group, from every economical level and from every social and political slant. Even with this vast range of diversity we have our feet firmly planed on common grounds. These common grounds are the well being and loving commitment to our children and communities.

At WHO’S YOUR DADDY?® our focus is not to share religious beliefs, social or political view points. Only if those beliefs and view points are directly related to the pursuit of fatherhood and will aid us in becoming better fathers to our children and better men in our communities. By no means are we to put away our diversities, personal experience, or our religious beliefs. Nor should we cover them up as though they don’t exist; this would be ludicrous and a grave mistake for they are the things that make us who we are. But in keeping in line with the purpose of this site let us use those differences to promote fatherhood and only fatherhood. Fatherhood is like religion it has the redemptive power to redeeming the souls of our children from the path of destruction. Fatherhood is like a social or political affiliation, our homes and our communities being our embassies and we as father as ambassadors. We are the official representative of the movement of fatherhood.
Our diversity makes us one, the many personal experiences we share confirms our sameness and increases our skills as fathers. Our various upbringings give us a tool box of tools that can that we can us to fix that which needs fixing, to tighten up that which needs tightening, to help build that which was disassemble and to disassemble that which was build wrong. We are linked by a common cause and bound by a common duty; fatherhood. And there is no greater cause for which a man should sacrifice himself for; and there is no greater duty that a man will ever perform than that of fatherhood. Welcome to the network of fatherhood!


I wish you well in your pursuit to fatherhood,

Ray

Is it possible for a father to be a positive influence in the lives of his children behind prison walls? Can a father still pursue fatherhood while looking through the bars of a prison cell? My answer is yes a father can! You can take away a father’s freedom, but he can still be free to be a father to his children. This can never be taken away from him unless he gives it away, and how unfortunate would that be?  For fathers who are incarcerated, having role in the lives of their children is not completely out of their grasp. While a father may be incarcerated, his influence as a father can roam freely to wherever his children are.  Behind bars, in chains, surrounded by insurmountable walls a father can touch the lives of his children through technology. As vigilantly as one may seek an appeal, a father must with that same vigilant pursue fatherhood as though your life depend on it – as though his children’s life depend on it. Judging incarcerated fathers is a fruitless act at this point. It is too late for that. For a father to relinquish his own role of fatherhood is as great as or even greater than the crime that placed them there.   Instead, a father must take the initiative despite what may seem to be an unrealistic task by putting all of his focus and efforts on the role of fatherhood. A father must be fully committed to the pursuit of fatherhood so that the future of his children won’t mimic his.

When a father’s focus is 100% on becoming a better father, it will make him a better person. It is an amazing thing of how being dedicated to the call of fatherhood will do to a man’s moral fortitude.  When men began to engulf themselves into the things that will make them better fathers, they embark on the road to real and lasting recovery and self- rehabilitation. Fatherhood maybe more difficult from where the incarcerated father stands. Because of this fatherhood will require some extraordinary creativity on the incarcerated fathers’ part but it is something that can be done and will be well worth it when they take into consideration what could become of their children if they are not actively involved fathers.

If people can get degrees, high school diplomas, write books, make money, even win the Nobel Peace Prize while incarcerated; surely men can be fathers to their children from the walls their confinement. Being solely dedicated to the pursuit of fatherhood is the greatest achievement of any man one that is worthy of the Nobel Peace Prize. When incarcerated fathers, and fathers in general work tirelessly to rekindle what seemingly is a lifeless relationship with the children they unknowingly redirect the course of a nation. Fathers may be confined by physical bars and walls, but their involvement in their children’s lives from those bars and walls can prevent their children from being imprisoned emotionally, mentally and spiritually — serving out their own lives on the streets of death row. You might ask, “How?” Here is my acronym for HOW_

Hard- it’s going to take hard work but fathers will find it rewarding for their children and for themselves.

Ongoing- this will take some time_ fatherhood in an ongoing process. Fathers must stay the course because their perseverance is necessary for the success of their posterity. The role of a father never ends until that fathers life has ended; and even then the things he leaves behind will live on. Fatherhood is ongoing. It never stops, only reshapes itself as the years go on.

Work- this is not an occupation that you receive money for. Rather, it is a lifestyle, a calling and an obligation to your children. It requires no diploma or certifications. Nor does it require any kind of degrees. A father must work hard in order to successfully fulfill this calling. It requires exceptional, but not unobtainable skills. It is worth the work because the outcome is lifesaving. And that’s H.O.W!!!

For the most part, the incarcerated father won’t be able to play a physical role in the fife of their children’s, but he will still be able to use his words. He will be able to speak to them nurturing words from the walls that confines him throttling the words of those who do not have their best interest in mind. Incarcerated fathers must speak to their children from their confinement before drugs and waywardness speaks to them. Incarcerated fathers must speak to their children from their confinement before despair, misery, and hopelessness whisper in their ears things that poisons their soul. Incarcerated fathers must speak to their children from the walls of confinement before delinquency can get a word in edgewise. And for  those fathers who are on death row, they must speak to their children as though their words may be your last word. They must speak to them because their lives depend on fatherly exhortation. Incarcerated fathers can write, call and send video or audio tapes of them reading to their children, or giving fatherly advice. This will be something that they will have and cherish forever. Incarcerated fathers can also use these mediums to also start mending the scars brought on by their absence and by the life that they choose to live.  Fathers should apologize for the things that brought them to prison and ultimately took them out of their children lives. After incarcerated fathers have done this, they should not continue dwelling on those things. But continue using these mediums as a way of interacting with their children in a nurturing and positive way. Using these mediums will help to forge relationship between father and son or father and daughter. Through these mediums, fathers open up the gate for a fruitful dialog by asking their children to write back and telling them about their week and their report cards. These fathers can even give them advice about life and sex. Be creative. You can also send them poems and jokes as well.

If incarcerated fathers put more time and effort, while incarcerated into doing what it takes to be a part of their children’s lives; it will prevent you from getting involved in the negativities associated with prison life. If all prisons around the country started a program that focused on getting incarcerated fathers back into their children’s lives, they would probably see a difference in the prison community. Heck, even the warden and the prison guards would benefit from such a program because someone has to check these mediums before they go out and come in. Incarcerated fathers can begin their own father coalition or support group, talking about issues they may face as incarcerated fathers, and coming up with more creative ways to be involved in their children’s lives.  They can develop material that will also address the problems fathers often face after prison when they try to get involved in their children’s lives. Incarcerated fathers can start their own newsletter, and distributing it to the prison employees as well, and to those who come see them. This newsletter could address the problems that fathers in prison are facing, and

give solutions to these problems. This newsletter can also provide resources for life after prison and list support groups that former incarcerated fathers can join after they have served their time. This reinforces the need to remain active in their children’s lives.

This call to fatherhood behind the prison walls will encourage every ethnic, religious and social persuasion to come together for one common cause. That’s why the support group in prison is such a good idea. It will allow men to talk about: their hopes for their sons and daughters, and their own personal accomplishments and failures. No subject is too big or too small to address when it comes to fatherhood and a fathers child. Fathers discussing the things that their children do that make them laugh and cry. You will find that fatherhood breaks every racial, religious and gang barrier. When men start talking about their children it can bridge the gap and break down barriers of bigotry and ignorance (maybe).  For those fathers who are incarcerated and chose not to be involved in their children’s lives, shame on them; their noninvolvement may have sentenced some child to a life of destruction. Being a good father behind bars is making sure that the only reason your children will ever come to prison is when they come to visit you. This is why fathers who are incarcerated and fathers who are free must begin to speak words of love, hope, encouragement, and exhortation so that the souls of their children will be free.

This is one project that's making fatherhood beyond prison walls posible, it's called 'READ TO ME DADDY', take a look...